The Taste of Truthfulness

My whole life I have struggled with feeling different from others, I was always that sick child and the one who stayed home from school for months because of an illness. Sophomore year in high school I found out that I had two fractures in my back and that things from there on out would become extremely difficult. I have found that to be very true. Each year has presented new challenges.

I am attending Brigham Young University and had no idea what to expect because I am a freshman. This first month of school has been brutal. I have multiple medications and braces to help ease the pain but walking around campus with a heavy backpack has been extremely difficult.

This week has been unusual, I have had more pain than I have ever had. Two days ago I woke up and could hardly move. I was in so much pain, getting from my bed to the kitchen took almost all the energy I had. I laid on the couch and cried, thinking to myself that none of this was fair, I have dealt with so many issues with my back and I felt like I deserved a break. I called my mom and she came down to my apartment and helped me with my grocery shopping and getting me from place to place. Since I am in college attending class can be crucial and I have been having a hard time getting to all my classes, which will probably hurt me more than help. I later received a beautiful and inspiring priesthood blessing from my father in which he stated that I would know how to manage my pain.

The next day came around and I was slightly better but the pain was still extreme and I was having a very difficult day. Later that evening I decided to read a talk and I came across this quote.

"we must also have the bitter in order to know the sweet. Sometimes some of us think we have the bitter and not enough of the sweet. This is normal. We all have our trials of life to strengthen us. Each thinks he has the hardest or most severe trials. It may be that they are the most difficult only because they are the hardest or most difficult for you. The diamond is enhanced and made more valuable with polishing. Steel is made harder and more valuable through tempering. So also opposition builds the character of man."

-Elder ELDRED G. SMITH October 1973 

How powerful this was to me that this opposition and trial that I am facing is more about my refining and understanding of the gospel. I began to feel a little bit better about what I was going through. Of  course through this whole injured process I have gone through the ups and downs of doubt and reality, good days and bad days. There have been times in my life, where I handle my trial beautifully, this week however, was not one of them.

When wednesday came around I was stressed out beyond humanly possible. I woke up that morning and was terrified. I was in so much pain and there wasn't much I could do about it. Wednesday is my heaviest load day and my back pack must have weighed twenty pounds. Before I left out the door, I said a prayer to Heavenly Father and I asked him that I would have the strength to get through my classes today, just my classes.

Here is the cool part...I drove to school and parked and began walking to my first class. I could feel my back pack weighing me down and I was struggling to make it on time. While I am sitting through my first class everything is going good but nothing was really different. I had an hour break till my next class and so I began walking in the general direction of where I needed to go. As I am walking I feel no weight on my back. Nothing. I was panicked that I had left something like my laptop in my last class, I swung my bag around and looked to see if I had everything. Everything was there, nothing had been changed. Thinking of how weird it was I continued walking and my bag felt light again. I felt like someone was carrying my back pack along with me. The rest of the day I did not feel any pain. I was pain-free and loving life. When I returned back to my apartment and took my first step into the front room, I felt all the ways my body had been torn down that day. I felt everything I would have felt just at a later moment in time.

I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers and shows us he loves us in so many ways. I know that I had an angel carrying my burdens and giving me the strength to do the things I needed to do. I know what the love of God feels like and I also know what it feels like to feel alone and helpless. Miracles happen every single day and rejoice in that fact. I know that this gospel is true and I know that Heavenly Father knows me on a personal basis. My hope is that we can all be someone's visible angel. Take time out of your day, sound out of your mouth and love out of your actions and give it to someone who really needs an angel. My angel saved my day, there are no words to describe the feeling of love from Heavenly Father. Go and discover it for yourself. He is listening and He cares. My name is Aubrey Larsen, and I am a mormon.