Motherhood is a career, a good one at that.

I recently had an assignment that made me seriously think about what I wanted to do with my time here at college. The whole purpose of the assignment was to create a plan that would explicitly describe my transition through college and to a future career. We needed to research how much we would make, how much schooling would be necessary for the career we wanted and all that "stuff" you need to know for your future career. I am not set in what I want to study in college, so I spent hours searching through majors and possible jobs that I thought might be interesting to me, I took this assignment pretty seriously and I thought it was a very beneficial assignment.

Every time I would pick a job that sounded okay and easy to write about... I just couldn't do it, I felt that any paper I would write would be in-genuine when I had already chosen what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but it wasn't something that I could study in college. Struggling with what to write for this assignment, I decided to go to the temple. I felt overwhelming peace there and decided that whether or not I fail this assignment which won't matter in a couple of weeks from now, I needed to write down the feelings that I have in my heart. I needed to write down my feelings about Motherhood.

Here is my paper on why I want Motherhood to be my career. (It is long, just to warn you).

        Throughout my whole life I have contemplated what I wanted to do when I got older, but I haven’t really found a college career that I find interesting. Society has conditioned us to prepare for the future beginning at a very young age. As a kid in elementary school your teacher asks you what do you want to be when you grow up and as a kid, there are no questions asked, you can be whatever you want to be. Then in high school they give you a test that determines your strengths and spouts out possible career options that best suit your personality. Now in college, they expect you to decide on a major that will determine the range of careers that you can have, and it is the most influential decision that determines your future. 

          Most kids have an idea of what they want to do at a very young age; some want to be a fireman, some a police officer and some even desperately hope to be a famous rock star. Most of the time the dream job they had as a kid matures and as that idea matures those kids become college students. These college students begin to seriously consider what their future could look like, choosing a more realistic and focused career. But what happens when what you have always wanted to do with your future isn’t something you study in college. I most certainly know what I do not want to do; chemistry, psychology, teaching etc., but I haven’t found a college career that interests me. All my life all I have wanted to be was a mother. I just want to be a stay at home mom, learning how to parent and developing my homemaking skills. Now I could easily write a paper explaining any career of choice, pretending that I am interested in that subject and explain how much I want to find a future in that area,after all there is no college degree in motherhood, and yes, there are some that come close, but I would rather give an honest and genuine paper explaining what I have always had a passion for, rather than write about what I know the teacher wants to hear. The purpose of this assignment is to, “make explicit what career path you want to take and how to get there” (Transition Plan Rubric). The honest truth is that I do not want a career, and I hope that my husband will remain healthy enough to support our family as long as necessary. I am not naive and I understand that accidents and unforeseen events happen and there is no way of knowing what the future holds; however, I feel completely confident that if my husband were not able to work I would be able to meagerly support a family. Truth is, I have a professional license in Pharmacy Technician and would be able to support a family on that income, ranging from $30,000 to $50,000 a year, Bureau of Labor Statistics (2013). It may be a small income, but it is an income. Not knowing what I want to do with a major or career is not because I haven’t tried or looked hard enough. I have been in more introductory to major classes than I can count, I have spent hours searching through majors and reading about them, I have asked people about their careers and something hasn’t provoked my interest just yet. From all my personal research I have concluded that I honestly do not know if I want to pursue a college degree at this time in my life.  I fully support the importance and necessity of college and continuing your education, but I also support the idea of making yourself happy. Since my time in college I have dealt with; two major cognitively debilitating concussions, depression, a wedding, marriage, and two fractures in my back. College has been very hard for me, and I would like to take a break from it. But wanting to be a mother is something that I have always had a desire to do, and it is something that I know will bring me joy. 

Being a mother is something that all women can do and have the innate capability of doing, but when we talk about careers and futures, having the title “Mommy” is the most dear to my heart. I grew up in a family of nine children and I was second to last. I have been around babies and children since I was 9 years old, that was when I became an aunt. Children are the people I enjoy being around, they make almost anyone laugh, they are some of the most truthful human beings, and they show the love in their heart. I am interested in being a mom because who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with such joyous beings. As cheesy as it sounds, the joy of a child and having your own children sounds so much better than money or fancy things. The average salary usually ranges from lack of sleep to non-existent sleep. Being a mom does not pay by the hour or by a salary, yet it is a very hard thing to do. Day to day responsibilities include a plethora of tasks; wiping runny noses, comforting a sick or injured child, driving to and from preschool or the grocery store over and over again, staying up late to put a child to sleep, making three different meals until the child eats something, bathing a child and scrubbing them so much until that thick layer of dirt comes off of their porcelain skin. Being a mom requires daily patience as your little girl demands that you watch her put on everything in her closet and then patience as she wants you to watch her as she takes them off again. Daily tasks also include disciplining boys who have decided to barbecue their little sister’s Tarzan toy, or boys who decide to tease their older brother by unplugging his video game. The career of being a mom entails answering some of the most difficult questions while still keeping their innocence intact, such as; “Where does God live?”, “What is sex?”, “How come I won’t be able to see grandpa again?”, “Why do I not have any friends?”, “Is Santa real?”, and “Why is water wet?”. Being a mother, you may have to deal with; a bullied child, a child who contemplates suicide, or a child with disabilities. Motherhood requires acceptance towards others and the desire to help others with problems.

Motherhood may be belittled by society or by the fact that a secondary education today is considered crucial to success. It may be belittled by the fact that there are no entry requirements, you do not need a degree or need to take any classes beforehand. There is no certificate or experience required, there is no research experience or professional experience that depends on whether or not you will succeed at being a mother. The only requirement to being a mother is the ability to carry and deliver a child. Children are always an increase in financial needs, they require expenses, time, and care. You do not need a college degree to be a mom, but besides that fact, being a mother is difficult. Being a mother is a career, and a good one at that. I plan on having sleepless nights, temper tantrums in the middle of the bread aisle in Walmart. I plan on having bad days where all I want to do is cry and I am so frustrated that I feel the need to get away. I plan on days where sickness plagues my home and death seems to be around the corner. I plan on having mounds of laundry that are constantly in a stage of half-way clean and half-way dirty. I also plan on the good days, where I look back and think this was the best decision of my life. I plan on the days where time and time again family proves to be the most important thing in my life. I plan on nurturing as many children as me and my husband see fit and I plan on enjoying it. Being a mom is not something that will inevitably happen because I am a woman, becoming a mom will happen because it is what I want to do with my future and it is what I want to be when I “grow up”. Motherhood is the career that I choose to pursue.

Careers are great, college degrees are amazing, and financial security sounds wonderful, but I hope that we all realize the gift that has been given to us. The gift of having a family. Children have always been dear to my heart and something that I have always wanted to have. I am grateful that I have so many nieces and nephews to prepare me. Motherhood is a career, a good one at that.

Body Image

Today me and my husband were rummaging through my childhood photos and it brought a lot of old feelings that I had as a child and a lot of feelings that I still have today. First let me just say how grateful I am that my mom was able to preserve pictures of me as a child and all the little treasures I held dear to me, such a blessing.

Anyhow...

I started dance at a very young age, I was an active child and I absolutely fell in love with dancing, performing and everything that goes with it. But, for as long as I can remember I felt that my body wasn't good enough. I have a very muscular build and I can put on muscle like nobody's business. But I have always felt, well chubby.

I looked at these images of me as an eight year old and I remember looking at my stomach when I was little and knowing that it wasn't completely flat, and it bothered me. At EIGHT years old! Me and my husband kept looking at these photos, and I could remember that as I grew older the more I was concerned about my body and the more I didn't like the way it looked.

This has continued on throughout my entire life. The funny thing now is that you look back and think man I wish I had that figure again! How ironic.

It made me sad to see such a beautiful and very muscular little girl who I knew had disliked the way she looked her entire life. And I can see why I would have felt that way. I was told at age 13 that ballet wasn't the best "career" for me because I was so muscular. Basically, I wasn't a twig. I was also told that there wouldn't be a boy to lift me because I was too big. In my mind, I was too heavy.

Since I started dancing I have been surrounded by girls my age who have the genes of very lean legs, tiny arms and small stomachs. I was not given those genes. I have got a large booty, thick thighs, somewhat of a chest and some round cheeks to top it off. I have a lot of meat on my body.

We all know the media isn't helping the cause for loving our body image...

Comparing myself to others has been a lifelong habit. I have had multiple friends who had those model figures and I have often felt inadequate and that I didn't belong because I didn't wear a size 2 jean. But this has all been my doing. I am not saying a leaner figure is bad, nor a fuller one, comparing yourself to others is something that comes from within and we are the ones who make ourselves unhappy.

Skinny people are not their to torture us, nor are muscular ones, or fuller figured ones...we all have a body and we are all different. I have learned over the years that the I was the one who was unhappy with my body image, but I was the only one. I had such a distorted idea of what I actually looked like and it has taken me fifteen years to realize it. I can now look back even to high school and think yes, I did have a nice figure. I can now look at myself and say yes, you do have a beautiful body.

I have just come to the fact that I will not have a tiny frame or ever be a stick, I will always have my round face, my wide hips, and my muscular legs. I was built that way. Now I want to make sure I make myself clear, this does not mean that we do not exercise or eat healthy. No matter what our size, we want to make it the healthiest it can be. It has been said a million times we all know it. But being skinny or super toned does not necessarily make our bodies beautiful.

I have stretch marks on my breasts, inner thighs, and hips. I have scars on my legs arms, hands and back. I have a birthmark on my neck that either looks like a permanent hickey or I smeared a huge wad of makeup two shades darker than my skin tone on my neck. I have got cheeks that you can pinch. These all make me human. These all make me beautiful.

Our body image should be based on what we know our Heavenly Father sees. A child of God. Rather than what we see. He is the one who will show us our true potential. Our body does not show us how beautiful we are, it is how we act, serve, speak, think and serve others that increases our beauty.

May we all feel beautiful inside and out is my hope.